Secret Shopping and Talking to Clothes?

November 9, 2009 § Leave a comment


Yes, that’s what my life has come down to. Yikes. Jeff and I have a wedding to go to this weekend and of course I have NOTHING to wear. Jeff never believes me when I say this, and half the time I know I’m being stupid, but this time, it was imperative that I find a new dress. This is one of our first really big occasions to attend as a married couple, and all of our friends will be there. I can’t look like a frumpy old wife! I have to look good! So, today was my day off, (woo woo!), and off I went to 34th Street to hit up Macy’s, Forever 21, and H&M.

Well, they might as well be renamed as “Unhelpful Store #1, #2, and #3.” I found NOTHING! Zip. Zilch. Nada. What was a girl to do? So, I start aimlessly wondering down 34th Street, hoping to miraculously find another store. While walking, however, I notice that everyone in this freaking city has an iPhone. Everywhere I turned, there was someone else looking like an idiot wearing their head phones and talking to thin air with their phone tucked in their pocket.  I always think people look stupid when they use their microphone to talk on their iPhone. They seriously look like those crazy homeless people who walk up and down the street singing/talking to themselves. I always shamelessly make fun of them. I’m mean. Whatever.

Anyway, so after a few minutes of walking, I find an Old Navy. Hmmmmm. Oh what the hell, maybe they have dresses, so in I go! I’m greeted immediately by those creepy mannequins they have on display. They’re playing some ridiculously loud music, so I decide to pop on my headphones and listen to my iTunes while ignoring pushy sales people, (note the extreme foreshadowing here). So, I’m looking around in the dress section and I’m having some pretty good luck. And then my phone rings. And it’s Jeff. Jeff doesn’t know about my “emergency dress shopping trip” today. Uh oh. Do I dash outside? Do I ignore his phone call? Forget it, I dash into the nearest corner, surrounded by clothes that will hopefully act like a buffer and drown out the store noise and answer the phone. I decide to become one of those people who uses my microphone to talk on my iPhone because I figured the tiny microphone wouldn’t pick up as much store music as my phone would.

So, there I was, backed into a corner, surrounded by clothes, desperately trying to hide my shopping trip from my hubby and virtually looking like I was talking to the merchandise. I got extremely odd looks from passing customers, but I didn’t care, Jeff had no clue where I was and that I was spending money. Whew.

Now, what story do I go with when he asks me this weekend where my pretty new red dress came from?


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