California: True or False
July 26, 2010 § Leave a comment
In case you were wondering why 2Sisters blog has seemingly conjoined into a mutant 1Sister blog, it is because Karen, aka East Coast sista (represent!), has no computer right now. It is broken and in the hands of the Apple geniuses. I considered taking this opportunity to spread elaborate rumors and lies about her since she has no access to the blog, (UPDATE: Plan foiled! She now has access to the blog.) but I decided to be mature about this and use this time to West Coast represent.
Anyway, I could have turned this post into a East side vs West side/ Biggie vs Tupac throw-down, but we all know the west is the best, so there’s really no point. 🙂 So instead, I’m taking this opportunity to set some things straight about the Golden State. It has come to my attention that the new Katy Perry song, though catchy, is not all correct in its portrayal of California nor its “gurls.” And while we’re analyzing her Cali song, we may as well take a look at a few other Cali songs and their accuracy. So here goes. California: True or False!*
We are undeniable fine, fresh, fierce and have it on lock. (Unless it’s before 8am and we haven’t showered or had coffee.)
We don’t mind sand in our stilettos (as long as they’re the cheap F21 kind; though I don’t know why I’d be wearing stilettos on the beach?)
We know how to party.
Inglewood is always up to no good.
In L.A. we wearin’ Chucks not Ballies – (also applies to the rest of Cali)
I know a place
Where the grass is really greener
Warm, wet and wild
There must be somethin’ in the water
Sippin’ gin and juice
Layin’ underneath the palm trees
(Okay what place is this? I really want to know. It sounds more like Costa Rica. If I’m sippin’ any cocktail underneath a palm tree on some green grass, it’s because I’ve gotten lost on my way home from the bar and passed out on a golf course. I’m kidding.)
Bikinis on top
We’ll melt your Popsicle
(Okay again where are these people? If I pulled this in SF I’d blind people with my pale white goosebumps. And rarely is anything so hot your Popsicle would melt. Even SoCal is usually in the 70s. Where is she? Death Valley?)
The West coast has the sunshine and the girls all get so tan. (Sure, if your job is a lifeguard and you don’t live north of LA)
I’d be safe and warm if I was in L.A. (No, no you would not. Have you heard of Compton?! Have you seen Menace II Society?? Ok ok, it’s not 1993 anymore. But frankly you’d be better off in somewhere like Santa Barbara.)
The life of a west side playa where cowards die and it’s all ball. (Since it’s not 1993 anymore, I think most cowards just move to Sacramento and it’s still “all ball.”)
If you’re going to San Francisco, be sure to wear some flowers in your hair. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. Butterflies are cool too.
So there you have it! What is “it” you might ask? Well, basically that most of these songs refer to southern California. I live in San Francisco, the northern part in case you couldn’t guess. We’ve got super nice things too but who wants to sing about the gorgeous dope waterfalls of Yosemite, or the placid bad ass waters of Lake Tahoe? Or how off-the-chain the wine country is? Yo, yo that pinot noir is sick nasty! See, we can be cool!
Well, at least we still have Journey.
*Obviously this entire post is completely biased. Haters gonna hate, so only take my word as truth if you want to.
Songs used in this post: California Gurls, California Love, San Francisco (Be Sure to Wear Flowers in Your Hair), California Girls